An Awkward Goodbye

Here's to that awkward moment when your "best friend" leaves for college tomorrow and you're not sure how to feel.

There are a lot of definitions of "best friends." Some people will say it's that person you tell everything, or someone who knows everything about you. or the person you always have sleepovers with and trust more than anyone.

My "best friend" had the ability to make me feel absolutely terrible about myself or feel like person of the year. Most often it made me feel awful, but it was worth it, for those rare times when I was the winner... Our friendship always felt like a game. Someone had to win or lose, and the winner takes it all.  Unfortunately he had been playing this game much longer than me, and a casual afternoon could turn into heart ache.

But I knew the schedule, it was a never ending spiral. We would get along great for a three weeks, and then tension would start and we would fight anywhere from three hours to three weeks. After that I would always apologize and there would be an awkward week. Then the cycle repeated itself.

No matter how much we hated each other, I always knew in two weeks we would be closer than ever. Unnecessary drama was just part of everyday.

And right now, it seems like I have the worst friend ever. That's not exactly true, he taught me more than I could ever learn and saw potential in me that no one else noticed. and deep down, sometimes REALLY deep down, he always believed in me. I could turn to him no matter what.

People say that you won't be remembered for what you did, but how you did it.  I won't remember him because of his talent, in fact I often forget how skilled he is, I will remember those shows we went to where we held hands. And those  afternoons where we did nothing but lay on the floor.
Every few months those afternoons would come, and that made our friendship worthwhile.



There were times when I hated him more than anything, but times when I loved him more than anyone. How am I suppose to say goodbye to the boy who inspired my dreams while killing my soul?

Although you will never miss me, somedays I will miss you.

have fun at college.